One of the most amazing moments in life is when you come to the realization that you have finally come into your own. You are no longer dependent upon what others think of you. And you can act independently of any preconceived notions of how others think you will respond. For those of us who have worked long and hard to take control of our lives. It’s a marvelous sense of freedom. It’s something we’d like to share with our friends still on the journey to a destination of self-empowerment.
The Definition Says It All
If you look at the definition of empowerment, it simply means to have been given power or the authority to do something. Let’s consider that for just a moment because this is so important to what we will be looking at today. To be empowered states that you were ‘given the power or authority’ and that implies that someone else is giving you that power. The meaning is clear. You didn’t have power until someone else gave it to you.
Sadly, if someone else had to do the giving, are you really empowered? The beauty of self-empowerment is that you are the one giving yourself the power or authority to be just who you are. You are, in essence, saying that this is your life, and you are taking control back from those who would like you to see them as being in charge. Sometimes it’s a subconscious control mechanism on the part of another, but it’s there, nonetheless.
Do You Really Need External Validation?
This has been a topic of discussion for decades now. Do you really need to be validated by someone else in order to appreciate your self-worth? Does someone else need to tell you that you are doing well and that it’s okay to be you? Do you really need to hear what someone else thinks of you. Or what you are doing to be okay with it?
While there are times when the opinions and approval of others are important, validation as a person is not one of those times. As a musician, for example, you need the appreciation of an audience because that is what you do. You are an entertainer and so their approval matters. However, you don’t always need to rely on someone else’s opinion of your sound. You can empower yourself to make an honest assessment of how you think your audience will appreciate your music.
If you want to hear what they are hearing, you can simply rent an LA based studio (or one closest to your area) to record a few tunes to get a feel for what they will hear. You are going into that music studio with the sole purpose of perfecting your sound so that you can be a success in the industry. This has nothing to do with your self-worth and the power you’ve given yourself to be who you are.
Life as a Mirror
One of the things you will learn about self-empowerment is that you are giving yourself permission to be the person you want to be. You don’t need an external force telling you how to act, how to dress, how to live or how to anything whatsoever. You can see life as a mirror. And if you want to give yourself power over something, talk to that you reflected back at you!
As an example, think of all the jokes you’ve heard in the course of your lifetime about the woman. Who asks her husband, “Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” She obviously wants his approval and to hear that it’s okay to wear that outfit. But sometimes the reassurance isn’t forthcoming. A self-empowered woman would see herself in the mirror and either decide to wear something else or be okay with the reflection staring back at her.
Bear in mind this is just an analogy of self-empowerment. And has nothing whatsoever to do about your weight, body shape or any physical characteristics whatsoever. It’s about envisioning the you that you want to be (the reflection in the mirror) so that what you see is the person you have empowered yourself to be.
Life in the Balance
There is, however, one final point which should be made. Being empowered doesn’t mean that you can ride roughshod over those in your circle. Yes, you may have been held back too often and for too long. But you should temper this newfound freedom with dignity. It’s all about living a well-balanced life you’ve given yourself the power to live. Don’t be that woman who demands to be heard with her newfound sense of self-empowerment. Rather, be a guiding light that validates who you are naturally. Be the self-empowered woman who understands her intrinsic value. And is happy to be who she is in a world where so many women aren’t given that freedom.